There seems to be lots of imbalance out there among library bloggers right now. I can’t tell you how comforting that is. My life is so out of whack – and has been for at least a year. I find that school has an uncanny and insidious way of throwing me so far out of balance that I find it nearly impossible to remember what it felt like to be well adjusted. School can easily take over one’s life. Having to read, digest, think critically, and write – all on a strict timeline while having to juggle work and family at the same time – can make me crazy. Trying to come up with topics for papers and projects can drive me utterly insane. In some ways, I just don’t care enough to come up with a topic about which I am interested in learning. I get to a point where I get so tired of it all that I just want to walk away, curl up in a ball and immerse myself in mindless activities.
This is sort of where I am – and where I have been since March of this year. My patience with school is at an all time low. It affects me mentally – it affects how I do my job (at least in my mind) – it affects my relationships with people that mean everything to me – and not in a good way. Knowing how I am and how I function, I doubt that I will be able to find real balance until I am done with school. I am hanging on because I am too close to the end to even contemplate walking away – or even contemplate taking a break. But, I am a bit burnt out. I’m hoping that life will be a bit easier over the next two semesters because I will only be taking one class each term. But unless I can find a way to be more positive about school, I doubt it.
I think back to how excited I was about going to graduate school two years ago – how much I was hoping to learn – how much I wanted to grow and expand my horizons. It is a little disconcerting to see how jaded I have become. I’m often disappointed in my lack of interest in some classes – and in the level of effort that I am willing to give. Some of this is due in a massive part to some of the issues and problems that are specific to SCSU’s program rather than library school itself. However, this space in which I am currently residing isn’t really a fun place to be.
July 16, 2007 at 12:28 pm |
Jennifer, we’re alone in this together. Everything you said.
I’m hoping that what they told me about law school (which I loved, except all the times I thought of quitting) will also be true about library school. They say that if you love law school, you’ll hate practicing law, and if you hate law school then you’ll love practicing law.
July 16, 2007 at 3:42 pm |
Add me to the list of LIS students feeling off. Are we all going stale?
Had all these huge thesis plans for the summer, but instead am mostly just spinning my wheels. Burnt out, indeed.
July 16, 2007 at 9:11 pm |
Aww… I’m hearing this from a lot of my fellow students lately. Although I did have a recent brush with a soul-crushing cataloging course, in general I’m really enjoying library school. But it’s not so much the classes (although I am currently taking a short-semester course called Seeking Funding which is, in my opinion, the best damn class I’ve had so far), but rather for the community, the networking that I’m getting.
I’m actively involved in the parent student organization for our school, and we’ve taken it on as our mission to get the word out about how awesome libraries and librarians are on our campus, and maybe recruit a few non-traditional library students in the process. I’m learning so much about networking and marketing! But this isn’t something I’m getting in a class…I’m going out and getting that information and experience for myself.
I’m learning (slowly) that there’s a lot of things in life where you have to take the initiative in your education because experience is the best teacher.
July 17, 2007 at 8:28 am |
Sharon, I can tell you that I absoutely love working in a library. By the way, I really appreciate all of your comments. One of the things that is so missing from the SCSU distance experience is student bonding – and you have helped me with that!!!!
Kirsten, I find it very tough to concentrate on school work in the summer -almost like I am preconditioned to want to goof off. Who knows?
librarynation, I’m glad to hear that you are enjoying library school. The involvement with the parent/student organization sounds wonderful. Your point about being in charge of your own education is important. I firmly believe this too. However, of late, I’ve let myself drift. I need to take charge again!!!
July 17, 2007 at 11:29 am |
[...] Jennifer, Karin, and Mark all posted recently about the difficulties of staying motivated where grad school is concerned. After reading each of these, I had one thought: Amen! [...]