It Was Just One Of Those Days

I will admit, first off, that I didn’t sleep well last night – and that the last thing I wanted to do was get up this morning. I am not at my best when I haven’t gotten the appropriate amount of sleep – and like many people (I think), I find it more difficult to deal rationally with things when I’ve been deprived of sleep. This means that I really didn’t have the patience to deal with stolen patch cords (a never-ending battle – and the many messages about the computer that wasn’t working), a student trying to get around our security software in order to use a dedicated OPAC station for word processing (rendering the machine useless), a non-student patron looking at offensive web sites (which I got to verify) and printer issues (another never-ending battle). I left work today in one of those “if-only-it-weren’t-for-the-patrons-life-would-be-wonderful” sort of mood. Without a doubt, I have been spending too much time at work of late, and I really need to get away – and I don’t think doing homework really counts as getting away. I mean whenever I get frustrated and irritated with the customers, I know I need some distance – an attitude adjustment – and/or a fresh perspective. 

Additionally, I’m not happy with school. I think part of it is that I’m in a blue funk, part of it is because I’m stressed out and part of it is that I just don’t have any time for myself. This could be because working full time and taking two classes at the same time was not the smartest move I ever made. But also, part of it is school itself. I know it is normal to have second thoughts, doubts, etc. Yet, I don’t think I am having doubts about what I want to do or be. Despite being tired of work right now, being a systems librarian is exactly what I want. So, that leaves school itself. I admit that I’m currently tired of it – I have no enthusiasm. This is a problem.

I got my grade back on the assignment that I passed in yesterday – and I did ok. I actually should be very happy with the grade because I think it was generous. I didn’t really “get” the assignment and wasn’t able to take the time that I should have to get it right. However, this is indicative of where I currently am this semester. What to do? What to do? What to do?

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5 Responses to It Was Just One Of Those Days

  1. Iris says:

    Oh, I’m sorry about your bad day. All I can say is “hang in there.” Library school gave me my fair share of blue funks, too. But it’s worth it. It really is.

    Of course, sleep helps. But school gets in the way of that, too.

  2. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for the words of encouragement Iris! It is amazing how much just expressing the jumbled thoughts in my mind makes things seem better. Ultimately, I know it was just a bad day and that things will look better tomorrow – and day that I am not going to work. That makes me smile!!!!

  3. Iris says:

    That sounds like a good antidote to bad days at work!

    Meanwhile, I should keep trudging through reading I should have started long, long ago. I don’t think I’ll get it all read by the time I’m supposed to be able to discuss it coherently. Grrr. But blog watching and commenting is just so much more fun.

  4. Jennifer — please stop! I am having bad flashbacks of rotten assignments and frustrated over-tired moments sitting in my office typing out baloney as fast as I could to get an assignment in. (oh — did I just say that? Actually, ALL my assignments were well-thought-out and prepared before I wrote them. Yeah, that’s it).

    I remember one day feeling like I put my heart and soul into giving the best that I could at work, only to be spat on and slapped by a youth who must have thought I was some chump white guy who didn’t care a lick about what he did or who he was. That hurt real bad, because I really, really did care about the people in that library — whoever they were. In the long run it made me more determined though.

    I daresay the porn fiends never really made me feel determined though. They made me want to just . Ok. think happy thoughts. I wanted a magic wand to send them to the Jenna Jameson dimension permanently so they could spare the rest of civilization from their dirty habits.

    Anyway, you’ll probably appreciate the two-course thing lots when you are finished. It’s hell now, but you’ll find that miracullously, things get done. And when it’s over, you won’t know what to do with all your spare time!

  5. Jennifer says:

    Ryan, I didn’t mean to cause flashbacks for you!!!! I have to admit though that your comments made me feel much better – and even made me laugh last night!!! I really appreciate your comments. I know that when I finish school, I will be able to look back at all of this in a different light – the end just seems SO far away right now.

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