Because really, I can’t handle the pressure of it all. I mentioned being way out of my comfort zone trying to pull distance students at SCSU together – and believe me that feeling hasn’t abated. I’ve had a somewhat queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach all week – and it is just a little bit worse this morning. Without a doubt, I expected there to be some fallout, disagreement and even backlash. Trying to bring together a bunch of disparate students who all have different wishes, conerns and problems can be difficult – and very tiring. Trying to do so in a positive and constructive manner is even more exhausting – and sadly, might be somewhat impossible. I’m a big fan of peace and harmony, and things are a long way from that state at the moment. Maybe shaking things up every once in a while is a good thing, but I’m generally not the one who does the shaking. And I usually find the shaken state to be incredibly uncomfortable. At least now, I remember why I tend to prefer being in the background. I’m willing to be it will be a long, long time before I stick my neck out again.
I’m Not A Leader, Nor Do I Want To Be One