2007 was an interesting year. I’m not particularly sad to see it go – nor particularly happy to be moving on to 2008. I’m not one to celebrate the passage of time. I do not really celebrate my birthday, anniversaries or New Year’s. However, I can’t stop the inevitable need to reflect a bit when such occasions do occur.
Thoughts on School
In 2007, I took 5 classes bringing me much, much closer to the end of my MLS program. I am VERY excited about this. At this point, I am extremely happy that I choose to take more classes than I wanted to in order to try and finish in 2008. This looks to be a reality that I will be able to accomplish. I will definitely need some to recover my mental sanity once I am done. But, I will be done!
I have all sorts of mixed up thoughts about library school, distance education, the program at SCSU, my personal experience in graduate school and many other related topics, but have been very hesitant to blog about many of them. I’m not actually sure how much of my jumbled thoughts will make it into this blog, but I am sure that I won’t even think about writing about many of them until I finish the program. I definitely harbor some hostility about my program, and feel as I was allowing that hostility to overshadow the positive experiences. I’m not entirely sure if this past semester was better because I tried to stop thinking about the problems or because I was lucky enough to be in a great class. Either way, I did feel much better about things things semester.
I’m very nervous about the upcoming semester. I think my class will be a great deal of work. I’m also expecting this upcoming semester to be incredibly difficult at work. This probably means that I will be highly stressed and quite overworked. I should probably apologize in advance to my husband.
By the summer of 2007, I had hit bottom in terms of my feelings about school. Spring 2007 and summer 2007 were very difficult semesters for me because of how involved I had gotten involved in issues some distance students were having at school. I was extremely discouraged with the ways things turned out and feeling as if I was to blame for having stirred up a hornet’s nest. There were some very unhappy people, and I was getting way too involved in other people’s problems (I just want to note that this was my fault. There wasn’t anything specific that anyone else did). I decided to distance myself from the situation a bit especially when I realized that I was having serious thoughts about walking away from the program despite being only two classes shy of graduating.
Thoughts about Blogging
Interestingly, one of the things to really suffer when I decided to distance myself from issues at school was blogging. At first, I was having trouble formulating coherent posts. Later, I found that I had definitely lost a bit of interest in blogging. I wasn’t keen on spending non-work and non-school time writing about school and work issues – especially when I had determined that certain topics were off limits. I figured out that I needed space from the world of libraries. I did feel guilty about this for awhile – longer than I would like to admit. It is amazing how much a part of my life blogging had become. Fortunately, I realized that I can’t force myself to blog. The desire is either there or it isn’t. Taking a bit of break wasn’t hurting me – in fact, I’d like to think that it helped give me some time and space to experience some of the things that I hadn’t really had time to do since starting school in September of 2005. I’m not sure how much I will be blogging in the future – and I’m not particularly worrying about it one way or the other.
The saddest thing is that when I look back at 2007, there isn’t a whole of non-related school stuff in the old memory bank. I certainly did things – most notably the trip to Las Vegas that my husband and I took in June (the Grand Canyon rocks!). I spent time with my family and friends. However, school dominates my 2007 memories – especially because it was such a difficult year school-wise. While I do not generally make resolutions, I certainly do not want school to be the biggest part of my 2008. Graduating from school? Yeah, I’m ok with that being a big memory, but I do not want school angst to be what I remember most.
Re-reading this blog post, it definitely sounds like a bit of a downer. Obviously, 2007 was a difficult year overall for me. However, I’m not particularly sad or upset as I write this. The past couple of months have been great. I had a great semester. The breaks from worrying about school and from blogging have worked for me. I’m feeling more positive about school – and am worrying much less about whether I should be blogging or not. Life is pretty good. The New England Patriots are 16-0. I got seasons 1 & 2 of Bones for Christmas. I have gorged myself on the remnants of a wonderful boiled dinner for several days straight. And, my husband and I are spending a wonderful New Year’s Eve at home together.
Happy New Year’s to all!!!!!!