Wednesday Evening Reflections

November 7, 2007

Recently, it dawned on me that one of the major reasons I haven’t been too keen on blogging of late is that I’m mentally exhausted – I just haven’t had the energy. When I come home from work, I really just want to veg out in front of the tv. Fortunately, school hasn’t been an issue. Taking just one class has made a huge difference. The workload is very doable – and I am enjoying the class SO much more than I thought I would. I do have an assignment due tomorrow – and I have to get cracking on that!

So, why am I so tapped out? It seems a bit absurd that I didn’t realize that much of my stress was due to work. It has been a semester full of absolutely everything. The beginning of the semester was extremely difficult. There were software issues (most notably problems with Vista and Office 2007), new system implementations (ILLiad – with which there is a significant amount of work and a new digital asset management system), and college-wide strategic initiatives dealing with IT (and as such, the library which is heavily dependent on technology). We are also in the process of redesigning our entire college web site and implementing a new content management system. The workload is somewhat staggering. I guess it isn’t too surprising that when I leave work, I’m not terribly interested in thinking about or writing about library issues.

Life seems a bit brighter now, so I think that things are easing up. Last week, someone at work nominated me for an employee recognition award – something like an employee of the month thing. While I don’t feel the need to be recognized, the certificate that I received via campus mail put a big smile on my face. Seriously, it could not have come at a better time. Wow! The $15 gift certificate to Dunkin’ Donuts was fine. I gave it to my husband because I don’t drink coffee. However, the nice words written by a coworker on the nomination form were wonderful. I seriously had no understanding that being nominated would be such a boost. Added to that, my husband gave me an early birthday present tonight – a plush, green bath towel and Border’s gift certificate (my actual birthday is still several days away). I sense that a relaxing bath with a good book will be in my immediate future. I also think that I might end up spending my birthday baking cookies with my 8 year-old nephew and 5 year-old niece (my 2 year nephew is welcome to join us – but I suspect he will balk at being left with Aunt Jen and Uncle Mike).

The bottom line: I guess that I have been a bit depressed, but didn’t realize it. Hopefully, this revelation means that things are looking brighter!


I Think I Have Blogger’s Block

October 1, 2007

Of late, I have been finding it extremely difficult to put any coherent thoughts together to form a blog post. I have started so many blog posts, only to decide that my thoughts were all garbled messes with little worth. I have deleted most posts that I have started over the past several weeks. And, I have spent countless hours staring at a blank WordPress editor screen. It has been quite disconcerting. It isn’t that life has gotten in the way, that school has gotten in the way or that I didn’t want to write.

One of the biggest problems is that I’m feeling extremely unsettled about school – which has traditionally been my primary motivator for blogging. I’m generally unhappy about my school experience, am reluctant to allow myself free reign to vent about my frustrations and am then left with nothing significant about which to write. Nothing specific has happened. I have had some recent contact with students who have echoed some of the same frustrations that I have experienced. This makes me sad – and makes me believe that the school, the ILS department, the administration and even the students are not able to get together to address any issues at this point. I just want to be done – be at a point where I can put this entire experience behind me.

I need to find another motivation for blogging. I need to be thinking beyond school. I will be in school until at least early May of 2008, but I can’t allow myself to be in a blue funk until then. I need to focus on the positive, to remember the good experiences at school, and to find motivation elsewhere. Unfortunately, I don’t think this will be easy.